Zeta-Jones appears stiff throughout the movie, while pros like Giamatti and Baldwin are wasted. A notable example is Zeta-JonesвЂ™ big song, вЂњHit Me With Your Best Shot.вЂќ While choreographer Mia Michaels borrows signature moves from vintage Pat Benatar videos, Patricia and her backup team of church ladies just look awkward. But thereвЂ™s insufficient momentum for the conflict to be more than perfunctory.ДЇor someone with a background in choreography, Shankman shows little aptitude for shooting dance numbers. Like the stage musical, the clash between Strip denizens and conservative zealots climaxes in a musical duel that repurposes StarshipвЂ™s вЂњWe Built This CityвЂќ and Twisted SisterвЂ™s вЂњWeвЂ™re Not Gonna Take ItвЂќ for the respective causes. As a karaoke selection, it yields diminishing returns. Their solution is to load the film with endless multi-character song montages that do little to advance the plot. After that, ADHD sets in as they struggle to keep too many characters in play. ThatвЂ™s because the screenwriters and director run out of fresh ideas in the first half-hour. In a plodding script that takes two long hours to tell a thin boy-meets/loses/wins-back-girl story in an elusive paradise, none of these threads provides any sense of urgency. ThereвЂ™s also StaceeвЂ™s interview with Rolling Stone reporter Constance Sack ( Malin Akerman), a confrontational encounter that makes the rocker reassess his priorities. But the rock starвЂ™s unscrupulous manager, Paul Gill ( Paul Giamatti), thwarts that plan. He hopes a farewell show before Stacee quits his band to go solo will get the club back in the black. In addition to their protests, Bourbon Room owner Dennis Dupree ( Alec Baldwin) is dealing with fiscal headaches. Running parallel to their obstacle-strewn love story are the efforts of philandering mayor Mike Whitmore (a misused Bryan Cranston) and his family values-crusading wife Patricia ( Catherine Zeta-Jones) to shut down The Bourbon and remove the depraved metallurgists threatening the moral sanctity of the cityвЂ™s children. Even in badass rocker-wear, they look like they belong in a High School Musical sequel, not a sweaty mosh pit. Q&A: вЂRock Of AgesвЂ™ Executive Music Producer Rates Tom CruiseвЂ™s Vocal Skills, Oscar PotentialД®mbodiments of the small-town girl and city boy from JourneyвЂ™s вЂњDonвЂ™t Stop Believing,вЂќ Sherrie and Drew sing sweetly and make a cute pair of lovebirds, but theyвЂ™re bland and uninteresting. Hearts are instantly aflutter when Drew comforts Sherrie after sheвЂ™s mugged, getting her a waitressing job at the club. In a film that continually forgets where to focus, those nominal leads are Sherrie ( Julianne Hough), an Oklahoma girl fresh off the Greyhound in 1987 Los Angeles, dreaming of stardom as a singer, and Drew ( Diego Boneta), an aspiring rocker working as a barback at fictitious Sunset Strip music venue The Bourbon Room (think Whisky a Go Go). A role that should have been a tasty extended cameo instead has been built up to crowd the headliners, and frankly, they canвЂ™t withstand the competition. And in the Glee era of Auto-Tune, even his vocal prowess barely registers as a novelty. Instead of one great showcase number (Bon JoviвЂ™s вЂњWanted Dead or AliveвЂќ) he gets a string of them. The outrageously egomaniacal characterization should be a hoot, but in truth, CruiseвЂ™s quasi-mystical sozzled intensity gets wearisome.

STORY: Alec Baldwin Talks About His Gay Kiss With Russell Brand at вЂRock of AgesвЂ™ Premiere First seen in bejeweled leonine codpiece, assless chaps and some elaborate ink, emerging from beneath a blanket of hot groupies, he channels Axl Rose as Stacee Jaxx, an out-of-control rock god rarely separated from a bottle of scotch or from the monkey sidekick he calls Hey Man. The main attraction no doubt will be Tom Cruise in another stunt performance to pair with his Tropic Thunder role.

Only when the invaluable Russell Brand is onscreen - playing a droll variation of his Get Him to the Greek character with a Nikki Sixx makeover - does this bloated, gratuitously star-laden rethink come close to hitting the right tone.

Working with screenwriters Justin Theroux, Chris DвЂ™Arienzo and Allan Loeb, who adapted DвЂ™ArienzoвЂ™s original book for Rock of Ages, the director has not found a way to translate the musicalвЂ™s affectionately mocking humor to film. But he was handed more winning material and songs crafted expressly to tell a story, not generic anthems shoehorned into a jokey construct. Shankman did a serviceable job on New LineвЂ™s 2007 screen redo of Hairspray.

Who choreographed rock of ages movie